The 14th Amendment, Birthright Citizenship, and the Ignoble Sunset of Trumpism

An editor recently came across this analysis by attorney and candidate for Connecticut Attorney General Peter Goselin concerning Trump's claim that he could rescind birthright citizenship with an executive order. This is a nice, concise analysis. Mr. Goselin may be reached at Goselin4AG.org.

Our thanks for letting us publicize the analysis, and Good Luck with the campaign!

November 3, 2018

Written by Peter Goselin, JD.

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I have been a little concerned at the comments by some legal experts and talking heads suggesting that Trump would *not* issue an executive order on this [ending birthright citizenship by executive order] because, after all, it is clearly unconstitutional.  I believe it's quite possible he will carry out his threat to do so and I think we have to be prepared for that possibility.

And although I know that fact will sound threatening to some liberals, as a leftist (and a lawyer) I believe that if Trump chooses that route he may very well dislodge the rock that decisively crushes the anti-immigrant right.

First, let me be clear about this. The Constitution itself is a document written by white male slaveholders, merchants, and bankers. They did not represent the American people then any more than their ilk would today. I have no qualms about interpreting it and applying it to provide the greatest possible protection to human rights, and I believe anyone who claims that the Constitution must be interpreted solely according to the will of the so-called Founding Fathers is merely protecting a system that was founded in white supremacist ideology.

The 14th Amendment, on the other hand, came into being three quarters of a century after the Constitution and the original Bill of Rights. Being generated by Congress of course it does not reflect a single point of view. But it came into being at a time when the capitalist concept of free contract was still (at times) a progressive social force. And so it is here, declaring first that "All persons born or naturalized in the United States" are citizens and then that, as citizens, these persons cannot have their "privileges or immunities" infringed upon or their "life, liberty, or property" taken by any state except with due process of law.

From the perspective of legal thinkers of that time, the significance of the language of the 14th Amendment is its radical declaration that it confers on "all persons" the kind of rights that in many parts of Europe at that time still were enjoyed only by burghers and landowners. In the US this moment in history is the height of progressive nationalism, effectively giving every person born in the US the right to enter into contracts, purchase property, access the courts, and do all those things that at one time had been the right of only a small minority of the population of any nation.

It would have been incredible for the drafters of the 14th Amendment to have decided, in this historic moment, to exclude from this new kind of citizenship persons who were born in the US but whose parents were not citizens. The very nature and purpose of the 14th Amendment was to draw into the circle of capitalist legality those persons who had previously been excluded, especially African Americans and the growing ranks of white industrial workers.

But even if one were to produce an argument that the Congress that wrote the Reconstruction Amendments and drafted the statutes that first conferred civil rights* also intended to exclude people born in the US to non-citizens (*42 U.S. Code Section 1981 giving all persons the same right to contract "as is enjoyed by white citizens" is still relied on in legal claims challenging race-based discrimination) that doesn't answer the question whether we, in 2018, should interpret the 14th Amendment so narrowly.

In only the last decade, the language of journalism and public policy has all but universally abandoned the ugly and ungrammatical phrase "illegal alien" to describe people who are present in the US without proper authorization. Although unsuccessful to date, it's clear that Congressional drafters of immigration reform legislation understand the need to provide some meaningful "path to citizenship" to some or all of the 11 million undocumented immigrants in the US. Attacks on undocumented immigrants, like Trump's Muslim ban, his Border Wall, and his disastrous policy of separating families at the border have evoked broad, popular outrage. There is certainly no basis to conclude that it reflects the wishes of the people of the US to change a longstanding interpretation of the Constitution that confers citizenship on any person born within US borders.

To the contrary, Trump's attempt to cram that interpretation down the throats of the majority of people who reject his narrow nationalism could be politically disastrous for him and for the anti-immigrant right as a whole. More clearly than any previous debate, a discussion about birthright citizenship would force the people of this country to confront the problem of 19th century nationalism in the 21st century. To embrace the end of birthright citizenship requires that we decide, as a people, to actively deprive people who live and work alongside us from the protection of those rights we associate not only with being citizens but with being humans.

An executive order to terminate birthright citizenship would be a nasty, racially-motivated endeavor to protect the "whiteness" of the United States. It is disgusting to imagine that the President of the United States would issue such an order. But it would not be the first act by this president to evoke the disgust of the American people. And I am confident that if Trump chooses to fight that battle, it will only raise the political opposition to his reign to a higher level and generate greater solidarity between citizens and non-citizens in the US than we have seen before.

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Editor's note: 

People forget that the SCOTUS is the weakest branch partly because it attempts to be apolitical.  That also creates a weakness. During times of great political stress, the court tends to retract its oversight role, which allowed for horrible decisions like Plessy v Ferguson and the Korematsu case that approved of the Japanese internment camps.

If Trump were to do try repealing the 14th amendment right now, then he'd unleash a maelstrom against his party.  That's right now, though. Naomi Klein talks about this in her book The Shock Doctrine.  What Trump is doing with this is sending up a test balloon. He's getting people riled up over and over and trying to give us outrage fatigue.  He will then splatter more of his awful ideas at us and, just like a day trader that makes money on the momentary ups and downs in the market, he slips in something that would have dominated all media coverage for weeks and would have cost him dearly in normal times.  Just like a day trader will monitor a bunch of different stocks, the Trump admin is playing on the momentary lapses in oversight caused by his relentless lying to slip in regulatory changes in all regulatory agencies that would have been condemned universally in normal times.

That's exactly what he Trump did with his Muslim ban.  The first three iterations were blatantly bigoted and unconstitutional.  The last version got the approval of SCOTUS with barely a mention because everyone is so busy with the dozens of other problems he makes every day. While we can be assured, at this moment, that this bigoted plan is going nowhere, that may change very soon. That's why it's crucial to understand both the issues and candidate's values to ensure that we leave a better nation to our children than what we have inherited.
If you're from Connecticut, then you also need to check out Mr. Goselin, at Goselin4AG.org, and ask if his values will enable you to leave a better world to your children than we have now.

In or out of the box?

In or out of the box?

** Deciding Whether to Give or Take Space **

5 August 2018
Written by Jeramee Sikorski
Edited by Lisa Frank

     In “It Works,” posted earlier, we showed how to use questions as a conversational skill for persuasive and productive political discussion.  Just as an encounter with a random person can turn into a fight, a political discussion can quickly become confrontational as well.  The best martial artists that I’ve had the fortune to train under also teach students to think about the space of a confrontation.  It doesn’t matter how hard someone wants to punch you, if you can stay just a foot away, they can never hurt you.  Get a few miles away, and they might never think of you again.  Control the space and you control the fight or even prevent it.

     This concept of space can apply to political conversations also.  When we are in the midst of a heated debate, we often experience the same things that we feel in a physical confrontation: anger, our heartbeat pounding in our ears, and maybe even a little heat as adrenaline dumps into our bloodstream.  Often, as a debate devolves to a quarrel, we feel like the only way to cope is complete disengagement.  That is a way to create space, but it surrenders the debate due to an emotional response instead of the other person having a good argument.

     In “It Works,” we applied the concept of space in two ways.  First, we brought in an article from a trusted source ¹ to build a framework around the discussion.  This let’s us set limits similar to how the walls of a coffee shop keep out the harsher elements of nature so we may converse in relative peace.  Alternatively, if the discussion is heated, the framework acts as the steel cage where we do rhetorical combat. ²

     It must be understood, though, that the limits placed around the conversation are there to keep us anchored to reality and not isolated in a media bubble.  If the person with whom we are engaging has different facts available, then they are welcome to introduce those facts, either from personal experience or from another credible source.  In turn, we are always free to dispute those facts, which is another benefit of using an article from a reputable source.  We do not have firsthand experience for most issues with which we deal even though the repercussions of those issues will affect us.  A source with a reputation of credibility provides justification to believe the reported facts, which we then use to justify our positions.  If a person brings in facts from a bad source with a history of extreme bias or misreporting the facts, then we are justified in rejecting that source. ³  Requiring that the conversation remain rooted in reality helps control the space around the conversation.

     The second way that we control the space is by giving space within a discussion, and we do it for a couple of reasons.  We used our questioning technique with a friend with whom we want to maintain our friendship.  Just as we wouldn’t physically push a friend around until they feel compelled to lash out, we can use questions to keep the discussion going while giving the other person enough space to not feel threatened.  Within the safety of that space, we give them questions that allow them to reflect and connect the values in their hearts with their beliefs.  Additionally, creating that space for reflection also gives us a little emotional distance from the conflict situation.  This helps us to control our emotions too and allows us to come away with a mutual appreciation of shared values and beliefs.

Note: Don’t get down on yourself if your emotions get the best of you during one of these tense conversations.  These ideas sound extremely simple here because we are presenting the culmination of years spent studying and practicing both logic and debate.  This takes practice, and you should expect to screw up sometimes.  Take heart, though.  In “It Works,” we point out several of our own mistakes and places where, in hindsight, we could have structured a better conversation.  Despite those mistakes, that conversation was a success. Do not let perfection be the enemy of the good.  Just keep trying.

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Articles in this series.

Using a Story to Frame & Structure Space - It Works

In or Out of the Box? (the one you are reading now.)

Get in the Ring -- Basic Techniques for Troll Boxing (Coming Soon)

Troll Boxing (Coming Soon)

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     There are times, however, that it just isn’t possible to give that space and have anything resembling a civil conversation.  The constant deflection by some media entities and personalities has infected our nation’s ability to have civil discussions.  Dealing with people like this feels like being in a tornado with all that debris swirling and battering you.  Their chaotic thoughts create an onslaught of foolish ideas that will litter the space around when the trolls return to their lairs.  This type of argument* doesn’t actually damage your argument but rather lays waste to everything around and in its path.  What small pieces of rational argument that they do throw at you are left to litter the ground as they focus on the next piece of havoc they will wreak.  Deflection is not a technique of argument, but a technique of avoiding an argument and avoiding thinking altogether.

(*Note: In this series, we will use argument in the debate sense: a series of propositions intended to support and prove a conclusion.  We’ll use quarrel to refer to a heated or angry exchange.  So the typical deflection type of argument that you see from some people does not actually meet the standard to be called an argument at all.  That is just random blathering.)

     With this type of person, the strategy of giving space does not work.  This kind of person spins facts and bad ideas just as quickly as the Tasmanian Devil from Looney Tunes whirls around.  The only time the Taz isn’t spinning through a path of destruction is when he’s in a box or being outsmarted by Bugs.  (By the way, you’re Bugs Bunny in this analogy).  You cannot give people like this space, or they will chew through everything around them and leave a disaster in their wake.  They will only use it to create destruction and chaos.  For people like this, you must confine their space and box them in like the Taz when he’s in a shipping crate.

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For people unfamiliar with the Taz, we’ve linked a couple of his iconic cartoons for you here.

Ducking the devil:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i_isen2wGPs

 

Bill of Hare:

https://www.dailymotion.com/video/x2ixo3y 

(Sorry, Blogger will only embed videos from YouTube, but you can click the link to view it.)
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     One last caveat before we take a look at rules and strategies to box in these devils.  During an argument, whether on or off social media, it is uncommon that we will actually change the other’s beliefs.  My friend in “It Works” began the conversation by saying she was “on the fence.”  She didn’t so much change her beliefs as she took the time to reflect upon her values and decided which side of the fence reflected her beliefs.  For people with morally repugnant beliefs, such as thinking that locking refugee children in cages is a good thing, we assume that we won’t change their beliefs.  So, why bother?

     With Taz-like Trump supporters, our goal is not to change their beliefs.  Just like a panel debate on TV news, the proponents of either side will not walk away with their beliefs changed, but that was never the reason they engaged in the debate to begin with.  For people like this, we engage and debate them to show other people observing the argument the difference between the two sides.  Our goal is to demonstrate our values in the clearest way possible.  

     Even in Looney Tunes, Taz is not "defeated" because he returns for several cartoons.  It sure is entertaining to watch Bugs outwit him over and over, though.   In the real world, we are not just providing entertainment for others.  We are demonstrating the irrationality of their beliefs for others to see so they can judge and act according to their values.

     If you’re like us, you also have friends who are somewhere in the middle.   Our goal is to show them or anyone else who may observe the debate that we can coherently combine reason and compassion, uniting heart and mind.  We understand that morality relates to promoting the well-being of other human beings ⁴ and not blindly following the cruel dictates of an authoritarian.  Doing that also makes the other side's argument resemble a manure spreader spraying crap everywhere rather than a series of real thoughts.

Actual photo of Trump supporter making his “argument” in a recent encounter.

Next: We will give a brief overview of some of the rules and techniques we use with Trump supporter for a better understanding of how to deal with such a creature when discovered lurking in its natural habitat.

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If you find these ideas helpful, then please consider sharing them to help others.

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If Trump's cruelty is getting a little too heavy, you can take a look at some of our recent satire pieces below.

Oklahoma Legislators to Propose New Teacher Employer Rights Bill

Federal Prison Uniforms May Pose a Security Risk

NRA Solves Refugee Crisis with S.H.I.T.E. Program

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Footnotes: 

1 One of our articles, “The Traffic Stop,” was used in “It Works” because it was written to help the average American walk a mile in a refugee’s shoes and covered most of the major arguments that someone might make in support of that unnecessarily and intentionally cruel Republican policy.

2 We are building up from easy to difficult conversations in this series so there will be more of that in future installments.

3 We ’ll explore that more in the next installment.

4 The focus on promoting well-being can be applied to all sentient creatures, which would also include animals, for those who recognize that they can feel many of the same emotions that we do.

Using a Story to Frame & Structure Space - It Works

Using a Story to Frame and Structure Space

*It Works*

Click here to get our latest posts first on Facebook.  

5 August 2018
Written by Jeramee Sikorski
Edited by Lisa Frank

     This installment on communication skills focuses on being persuasive in political conversations when speaking to people who are independent or politically on the fence.  Previously, in “Trump's Removal Must Be Political, Not Psychological,” we pointed out that we must be strategic in how we approach political discussions.  We followed up with “Calming the Storm,” where we explored the nature of mental defenses and what it takes to be persuasive.  Then we looked at the specific technique of Socratic questioning as a way to put those values into practice in Socrates Strives Forward.  Many readers have asked whether these hippie concepts of giving space to a person and practicing empathy with active listening are realistically possible?

     We have been trying to put these values into practice even before those earlier pieces were published.  A few weeks ago, one of our authors had a good discussion with a friend who seems to be on the fence politically, but maybe leaning a little towards Trump.  Instead of breaking out the knives, he tried to put those values from the articles above into practice.  Below is the conversation with notes on how he managed the conversation to make a thoughtful, reflective atmosphere.  Yes - it works. It just takes practice.

     A quick note on relevance and deflection.  The author notes several times where his friend began to change the subject, which happens in normal conversation.  The way that we talk to each other politically, though, has eroded in America lately.  We have gone from politicos trying to spin a story and tell their best version of it to bait-and-switch deflection.  While Trump is the master of this dark art, it is infecting everyone.  The result seems to be an inability for people to stick to any single topic for even a second while talking.  We even see it in conversations within our own political camp, and we’ve mistakenly done so ourselves on occasion.  The author uses a story as a way to anchor into facts about the problems facing the migrants on the border.  This keeps the conversation focused.  He refers back to skipped questions and news stories when needed to keep the discussion based in a common, reality-based set of facts.  In doing so, the goal was to keep the discussion focused, reflective, and civil, but not to be overly domineering.

     But, is it practical? Can we really make a difference this way?

YES!!!

     Yes. As argued in Calming the Storm -- A Prelude to a Way Forward we only need to persuade a small fraction of Trump voters in order to put a check on his power.  He won by only 0.7% of the vote in the 3 states, MI, WI, and PA that gave him an electoral college victory.  That’s less than one person out of 100.  Can we try to make a space for civil conversation with just one out of every hundred people that we might disagree with?

Here's that annotated conversation (posted in 2 sizes because I'm not that technologically talented.  

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Thank you for coming to engage with our ideas.  

If you find these ideas helpful, then please consider sharing them to help others.

There are easy sharing buttons located at the top of the page.

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If Trump's cruelty is getting a little too heavy, you can take a look at some of our recent satire pieces below.

Oklahoma Legislators to Propose New Teacher Employer Rights Bill

Federal Prison Uniforms May Pose a Security Risk

NRA Solves Refugee Crisis with S.H.I.T.E. Program

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Click here to get our latest posts first on Facebook.  

Oklahoma Legislators to Propose New Teacher Employer Rights Bill

Politics>Satire>News from the Reich

Click here to get our latest posts first on Facebook.  

27 July 2018

Written by: Jeramee Sikorski

Editor: Lisa Frank

Reading Time: 8 minutes of dystopian ecstasy

     Two sources just leaked a copy of a new draft bill from Oklahoma Republicans for the next legislative session. Speaking on condition of anonymity, they claim it equalizes the rights between teachers and employers. This comes in the wake of an attempt a few weeks ago when the state’s Republicans tried to pass a law designed ⁱ to “equalize the rights and raises” won by teachers in recent collective bargaining strikes, according to one source.

     “I think the problem is just too darn many rights for these teachers. That's why we’re proposing the new teacher’s rights law that extends current contracts and pay rates for 15 years with a renewal option for an additional 6 years. It also makes it a criminal offense to terminate a contract early and provides for private law enforcement officers to earn a commission when they retrieve any criminal teachers from other jurisdictions,” said the source in what he proudly described as a pinnacle of “equal rights legislation.”

Beware, many of these nefarious criminals-to-be are masters of disguise.
They have plenty of construction paper and know how to use it!

     “Those of us in the legislature were appalled by the onslaught of teacher’s outrage a few weeks ago,” he said of the earlier failed bill. “They were truly hurtful,” he said, adding that “some even threatened the legislator’s jobs.”

     “There is just no tolerance for people speaking up on behalf of downtrodden people anymore,” he lamented. We asked what he meant by people since the bill is supposed to increase the rights of employers, which are typically corporations. “Oh, but corporations are people, my friend,” he gleefully remarked, “and they need protection too.”

     When pressed about the bill’s extremeness, he said the original version stated that “no interest in a contract in education employment is good unless it must vest, if at all, not later than twenty-one years after some life in being at the creation of the contact in interest.”   We were surprised by the specificity of the wording and inquired further.

    “We were informed by legislative researchers that this language only applies to things that can be inherited,” he said, “which was pretty disappointing.  Life sure was a lot simpler back when people just took over jobs from their parents, whether it was teaching, or blacksmithing, or cotton farming.”

    He then explained his reasoning, “The problem is too little economic freedom for the employers. These teachers can go move somewhere else anytime they want, but you can’t move a school. This makes the schools captive to the outrageous demands of these people. We’re just trying to level the playing field by equalizing the mobility rights between the parties.”

     “Yes, but aren’t most brick and mortar stores unable to move and still successful under current law?” we asked.

     “You need to understand that, in collective bargaining, they are raping, and murdering us . . . and I suppose some are good people too . . . .” he trailed off quietly.

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Conservative Education Reformers Propose New Conservative Tense for the English Language

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     We sought out business analyst Mike Hickle and legal analyst Brendan Beery for their expert opinions on this proposal.

Diogenetic Light: Let’s start with Mike. What is your opinion of this new law?

     “This new Contractee Return Law will create many new business opportunities for people to enter private law enforcement and forcibly return escapee teachers,” Hickle began.

DL: Yes, but is it legal?

     “This isn’t an issue of legality because it hasn’t been officially challenged in court yet,” offered Beery.

     “Yes, and historically, the primary barrier to a law like this is whether law enforcement is willing to enforce it. Since enforcement for this law will be placed into market mechanisms, there should be no shortage of willing enforcers,” Hickle explained, adding “If the federal government can forcibly take children from refugee parents, a state should be able to forcibly return a teacher to a job where they have an outstanding contract.”

DL: But the government backtracked on that policy . . .

     “Really?” interjected Beery, “The policy was officially reversed on June 21, so why have the majority of those kids not been returned to their parents yet? They are now saying that some 1,500 children are ‘ineligible for reunification,’ which is politico-speak for we don’t care and ain’t gonna do it. Like it or not, it’s still a de facto policy, and may be used to argue against other’s rights.”

DL: But how can a state force someone to work against their will?

     “Here’s their legal theory: First, they equate breaking a contract with criminal fraud,” Beery said. “So, if a teacher gets disgusted with rotten pay and a draconian administration and decides to go to another state where she can be treated better and make a decent living, then legislators claim that is the same thing as Bernie Madoff coming in and stealing people’s life savings.”

DL: Wait a minute, are they taking their pay from the entire contract and absconding with it?

     “Oh no, their pay periods don’t change at all,” Hickle clarified.

     Beery, in a soft and patient tone, continued, “The theory of the legislation is that the school has spent hiring resources securing the rights to that teacher’s services. Since the school cannot find willing teachers to replace a teacher who quits, then they are severely hurt enough to justify treating it as stealing property from the school, thus making it a felony.”

DL: So how would that work?

     “Pretty good, from the projections I’ve seen,” Hickle replied. “The lawmakers expect the money saved on teacher contracts will be enough to offset the reward paid to the fugitive recovery agents created by the law.”

DL: So they are going to have bounty hunters to bring back escaped teachers?

     “They prefer to be called ‘fugitive recovery agents,’” Hickle replied dryly.

DH: If the state will only break even from this law, then why do it?

     “Oh no, it’s only the enforcement provision that will break even,” Hickle added. “After getting successful convictions for felonious breach of contract is when they really start to save money.”

DL: Wait a minute, I didn’t read anything about that in the report.

     “That why I specialize in business intelligence analytics,” Hickle said with a sly smile. “You must understand both the business and political climates to see this.”

DL: So how does that work?

     “After conviction, the felonious teacher will be sent to a private prison facility,” Hickle replied wryly. “Most private prisons have an ingenious work program: they don’t provide prisoners with basic such as soap, feminine hygiene products, or shaving cream – “

DL: Wait – what!?

     “ – but the prisoners can earn the money they need for those items by participating in the prison work program,” he continued. “They usually earn about $3 to $5 per day, which is enough to cover all the luxuries that they might want, such as toilet paper or deodorant. Plus, Republican lawmakers say these work programs are good for the prisoners. ⁱⁱ”

DL: That sounds a lot like forced labor? Isn’t that illegal?

     “That’s above my pay grade,” he replied. “I better let Prof Beery answer that one.”

     “You’re correct, the thirteenth amendment did abolish involuntary servitude – that’s how it referred to slavery – but with one little loophole,” professor Beery matter-of-factly explained. “It can still be used as punishment for a crime.”

     “Yep, and until recently, only states benefited from this barely tapped labor pool,” Hickle explained with a glint in his eye. “Thanks to privatization and public-private partnerships, that resource is now being made available for more effective utilization.”

DL: And that’s how a law that forces people to work below poverty wages can be legal?

     “Yep,” replied Beery, his voice flat and devoid of emotion.

DL: And what kind of work would these jailed teachers even do?

     “Oh, that’s the brilliant part of it!” Beery added sardonically. “The potential harm is only economic, and, because teachers are paid quite poorly, about $20,000 a year less than comparably educated professionals ⁱⁱⁱ. So the economic harm is very small. Under state sentencing guidelines, they will be eligible for a work release program.”

     “I bet those savvy entrepreneurs at Geo Group and CoreCivic are already working with employment agencies to provide highly skilled teachers to schools that are understaffed,” Hickle added enthusiastically. “If they’re lucky, the teachers might even be able to get hired into their old classrooms!”

DL: And the state can get away with this?

     “Why not?” queried Beery. “The only thing that will prevent this law from passing is massive, organized protest to scare the lawmakers into scrapping the plan, which is why they targeted teacher’s unions in the law that failed last month. The legislators assumed everyone would be too worn out from all the prior protesting to put up a fight.”

DL: Would the legislature really be that bold?

     “Of course,” Beery replied. “They were willing to take a bill protecting children from abuse, including sexual abuse, then removed all the language about protecting children and replaced it with the bill to break the unions and claw back raises ^iv they begrudgingly gave the teachers,” stifling a giggle at our naivete. “They could have simply added the extra language into the child protection bill.”

     “For decades, the Republicans have had Equal rights protection as a key issue . . . for corporations . . .” Hickle added, trailing off.

DL: So, under this new law, if a teacher decides to teach in another state, even after a school year has ended, then they could be forcibly returned to the state, thrown in prison, and forced back into their old job with less pay and fewer benefits?

     “Exactly, you’re a quick learner” responded professor Beery.

DL: And how much would the state save from this plan?

     “Who said anything about saving money?” Hickle asked in surprise. “You gotta understand, this may be an expensive program to oversee and teachers aren’t paid much to begin with. By the time you deduct the $5 that they pay the prisoners every day, then figure in the necessary profit margin for both the private prison and the employment agency, the schools might be able to save 2 or 3% on their labor costs. But corporate profits are expected to soar next year, and that’s good for everyone’s 401k.”

DL: And what about the teacher’s own children?

     “Oh, as convicted felons, the teacher’s children will probably become wards of the state and put up for adoption unless they have family who can step in. Until they are adopted, they will be placed in a private care facility that contracts with the state,” Beery opined.

     Hickle snapped his fingers, saying “You know what, I hear that Casa Padre in Texas has beds open now that some of those migrant kids have left. The state might even be able to get a discount based on volume if they send enough business to them!”

DL: Won’t that harm the teaching quality if the teachers are being treated as literal prisoners?

     “Well, that’s not an evaluated metric in the report, so we have no way to project that,” Hickle explained.

DL: I still don’t understand how this is possible?

     “Well, we used to do it in the early days of the country . . .” Hickle said.

     “and, it was so successful that lawmakers codified it into the law,” Beery added.

Thanks for reading. Yes, the OK Republicans actually tried to gut a child protection bill in order to cheat hard working teachers from the pay raises that they struggled to earn. Most of the rest of this is reality-based satire, for now. It was only the backlash of teachers and their union that made these legislators retreat and actually pass the child protection bill. If you think a child’s safety is more important than tax cuts for the already insanely wealthy, then you can become an ally to unions, even if you don’t have a union in your job. Unions don’t just protect their own workers, they actively work to protect all of us.

A special thank you to my Mike Hickle and Lisa Frank who have colluded with me on several projects for The Diogenetic Light. You guys give me a clear set of eyes to see problems with my ideas, and I’m extremely grateful for that.  Thank you also to professor Jim Hicks, who showed me that even dry and boring legal topics can be made funny and interesting.  You even made the rule against perpetuities semi-enjoyable.

i https://newsok.com/article/5593286/bill-is-revenge-for-teacher-walkout-unions-say Accessed 25 July 2018.

iihttps://www.thedailybeast.com/republicans-say-forced-labor-is-good-for-detained-immigrants-in-letter-defending-private-prison Accessed 25 July 2018.

iii Oklahoma teachers report being paid about $50,000 per year, despite often using their summer “vacation” for continuing education to sharpen their teaching skills and make classes more engaging and fun for our children.

https://www.payscale.com/research/US/Degree=Master%27s_Degree/Salary Accessed 25 July 2018.

ivhttp://webserver1.lsb.state.ok.us/cf_pdf/2017-18%20COMMITTEE%20AMENDMENTS/House/SB1150%20FULLPCS1%20ZACK%20TAYLOR-GRS.PDF Accessed 25 July 2018.